Day 8: Parenting under a microscope

One of the hard parts of parenting children with autism is the demands of therapy.

ABA therapy is amazing.  10 - 30 hours a week each child has a one on one therapist who works on a variety of goals including improved language skills,  social skills( eye contact,  being a good sport,  making small talk),  life skills (like getting dressed or eating a wider variety of foods) behavioral problems (dealing with aggression or tantrums) and the list goes on.

Not only does the child receive those dedicated hours but there is also a clinical team that come regularly to observe and look at the child's progress compared to developmental norms and works with the parent to determine new goals and next steps.

The outcomes for our family have been amazing.  Philip learned to speak and play with other kids. it has changed the trajectory of his life in a way that I have a hard time putting into words.

But it is a commitment. There are a lot of rules. Your schedule revolves around therapy and your parenting is under a microscope. How well do I follow through? Am I able to create structure and opportunities for my kids to have successful growth? How do I respond to tantrums?

Parenting is a natural place of vulnerability.  I think every parent recognizes that the job is too big and that it is impossible to get it right every time. You sweat and pray and come back and try again.  They push your buttons and you wonder how such a small person can tie you up in knots.

Having a group of therapists there to give me advice and tips is really helpful but it also can easily put me on the defensive or remind me of all the small ways that I suck as a parent.

Slowly, but steadily,  Gods has been chipping away at my pride. Humility is hard.  It's a discipline that will take a lifetime of work.

Accepting my limitations.
Recognizing the gifts in others.
And embracing that I am special but so is everyone else.

This work becomes easier with love.

Love for my children gives me strength to be open and vulnerable in front of therapy team so I can become more of what they need.

Love for my spouse gives me courage to set aside my agenda for his when it's needed.  

Yesterday I choose hope.
Today I chose humility.