Day 19 : What if life wasn't busy?

I'm going to be honest. If my life wasn't busy,  I would probably make it busy.

I can fantasize about a leisurely life where I had time to make scrap books for each of my kids... I could even lie to myself and say that life will slow down someday.

But honestly. It won't.

It's not who I am or how I'm wired.

I've recently completed a number of personal and professional goals that I had set up back in September and life is transitioning for me. 

I knew that this would happen during lent.  I had looked up the calendar and realized that a number of projects would wrap up in the March / April time frame.

My goal at that point was to transition to a lower speed.  Throttle down. Cook more. Exercise more. Read more books with my kids. Take them on hikes. Put on the calm fun attitude of "summer mom" as days get long and learning happens with campouts, fireflies and days at the water park.

It feels good to throttle down,  but it is also hard. 

I am high octane.

I want to do and be and love so much that I have a great temptation to take on the world.

For me,  this season reminds me that saving space in my schedule allows me to lean into a call of love.

It gives me bandwidth to really listen when people talk to me.

It gives me bandwidth to figure out why tantrums happen and have the patience to help my little guys push through to the next milestone.

It gives me bandwidth to think and feel and hurt for the world and to find a gap to pour myself into.

And then I would throttle back up and throw all the octane I have into whatever new call finds me.

So.

Tomorrow there will be a new to do list.
For this season. 

I work.
I love.
I listen.

And I make space for my heart to take in the world around me.

For the Spirit whispers.