Sunday afternoons are a time set apart for checking in on the marriage.
Every week, we drop the kids off at my mother in laws and we go out for lunch. Some weeks we sort mail and discuss finance, others we plan next steps for the business and sometimes we go on long walks and do hard communication about issues between us.
It's a kind of maintenance like doing laundry or changing the oil. If we miss a week or two, no big deal but if too many weeks go by we can feel the strain somewhere. We get out of sync and begin to rub.
Sometimes life is stressful enough that even our weekly outing isn't enough to cover all the things we need to cover to keep the marriage healthy and we find ourselves emotionally overdrawn. In those times I find myself wanting to take Sunday afternoon for myself. A little "me"time is far more inviting than continuing to push through and talk it out, work it out and plan it out together.
Ulrich never lets me off the hook.
"We're doing this."
And so we do. Week after week. Issue after issue. Compromise. Communication. Togetherness.
God calls us into relationship. God calls us to love. And I've found no better place to practice and live this call than in my marriage. It's easier to love people if you don't have to deal with them day in and out. Loving someone who leaves towels on your clean floor is harder. And the practice of extending grace to the person who can most easily press your buttons makes it easier for me to save space for people I meet in passing.
This Lent I've decided to commit to giving a bit extra to this loving endeavor. Not nagging, even when I'm fully justified to do so. Not pushing my agenda. And fully showing up on sunday afternoon ready to give first and receive second. Not gonna lie, biting my tongue doesn't come easy. But it's lent. It's not easy.
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