Day 15: when a balanced life is elusive

I was listening to "The next right thing" a podcast by Emily P Freeman about making decisions and finding your next step in life.  The episode was a meditation on finding balance inspired by the coming spring equinox. The day is equal parts day and night,  light and dark. 

She talks about a science experiment you can do where you calculate the angle of the sun and at solar noon during the equinox there is a moment when a stick will have no shadow.  I don't know if the experiment works but it was a good illustration of what balance feels like in my life. Twice a year,  on some random Tuesday or Friday afternoon for about a minute,  everything is in perfect balance.  The rest of the time I'm a little off centered.  Sometimes I'm really off centered, like the poles during summer - all light or all dark. 

I feel a lot of pressure from society to stay in balance, but life doesn't seem to work that way.  It's full of stops and starts, seasons of work or play,  planning and reflexion. When I feel like I've gone too far in one direction, I feel a tug to pull the other direction. After a season of feasting during Christmas, I'm craving a season of fasting as I start Lent.  

Balance doesn't happen every day but rather over a lifetime. 

Though,  I think what people are craving when they talk about a balanced life is being right in the place where they belong.  When I'm stressed about the lack of balance in my life it usually stems from not meeting expectations - either my own or someone else's of who I should be or what I should be doing with my life.  I need to fit in All. The. Things. When I don't,  I have failed at some part of life. I'm a workaholic or lazy.  I'm too involved with my kids or not involved enough.  Not having balance can become a source of shame.  

But I think I need to remind myself that life has seasons.  And if I'm in a season of work,  that's OK. Sometimes we are called to seasons of work.  

The best news is that God is with us when we are completely off kilter. God can rest with us in our seasons of extremes and can gentlely call us back to center when we go too far.  And for those of us who have a tendancy to keep going,  even after that gentle reminder to turn around,  and we crash.  God is there in that moment too. Extending grace and compassion.