When I was younger, I was amazed by miracles. There were things that I saw or heard that could only really be explained as miracles. At that point, my faith was relatively simple. Miracles happened, and so, I knew that God was. I knew there was more to God. But for me, miracles were a sort of proof. A measuring stick that I used to understand faith.
As I grew older, I saw life with less innocence and more nuance. I saw that miracles didn't always happen, no matter how faithful the prayers. I had a hard time reconciling my faith. There were more questions than answers.
Does God even exist - have I been making this all up in my mind?
Are miracles real or are they really just coincidences?
When and why does God show up and intervene in our lives?
How do we pray when we want God to show up?
What if God is silent? Why does God choose to withdraw the Spirit from us?
Today I think I've made some headway on these questions...
We ask for miracles often as a freedom from suffering. Healing, resources we don't have, angels to protect us. But I think God sees miracles as a moment to interject a lesson into someone's faith walk to catalyze change. God, I think, uses miracles to alter the course of our lives. As a sign or a guidepost for the path we are meant to walk. When I think of miracles in my own life or in the lives of people I know, they are holy moments that are life defining, path defining, call defining. Miracles give us conviction to be light.
When I think of it this way, I feel more certain about how to think about my prayers in situations where I want God to intervene. I feel compelled to pray for spiritual eyes. To see situations from the vantage point of faith. Maybe I should ask less about healing so and so and more ask that God be present in their path and guide them to the next part of their walk. I can't know their walk. I can't know how God should intervene but with faith, I can trust that even in silence, God is present and working.
Drawing us along our path doesn't always ease our suffering. In fact, sometimes the suffering is a refinement that molds us into what we can become. Sometimes it pushes us away from places we are not meant to go.
I know that I will probably struggle with these questions for a long time as I continue to mature in my walk. But I find a deep joy in recognizing that miracles are everywhere, all around me. Working to set people on courses where they can become who they were meant to be. And that miracles continue to be possible in my life.
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