Day 20: Pressure to be perfect

There is so much pressure these days to be perfect. To have all the answers.  To be right.... and to do life in the best possible way.  After all,  we only have one shot and we shouldn't waste time messing it up.

We have to choose (and defend our choices) about career... because we absolutely have to have a life plan that is perfectly mapped out once we enter our 20s.  After all,  what is the first thing people ask a new graduate...Do you know what you are going to do with your life?We have to be in shape.  Eat well. Exercise regularly.   Keep our stress levels in check.  Have perfectly balanced friendships with the right people who will make us grow.  Heaven forbid there be any "drama" or "unhealthy relationships." Because if we communicate well enough and include and exclude people perfectly,  we shouldn't have to feel pain.  Manage our money well. Stay out of debt.  Pay off our debt. 

In short, we are all under a lot of pressure to have our shit together.

This is especially true when we become parents.  Not only can we not screw up our lives but we are also forever liable for not screwing up the lives of our kids. The pressure can be unreal. Moms everywhere internalize it.  We feel guilty for not making every moment perfect.  Guilty for not savoring those quirky "unperfect" moments that "won't last." Guilty for feeling guilty.  Then we yell at our kids and feel like absolute crap.

The internet has all the information we could ever need, so there is no reason for us to get it wrong .. i mean, just Google "the correct way to fold a fitted sheet." There is an optional,  best way to do everything from taxes to vacations to get the must out of it. This makes it hard to make decisions. Since there is a right answer, we have the responsibility to find it.  If we spend enough time doing research,  reading reviews and planning ahead, we could possibly not screw our lives up (or more importantly,  our kids lives. )

I feel this pressure.  I have fretted over exactly what each of my kids needed to be "most successful" in life. I've needed to make the "right" decisions to keep my business on track.  I've needed to organize my house and ideally,  if it could have Pinterest worthy storage labels,  that would be best.  I mean,  there has to be a "cute" way to organize my junk drawer,  right?!?  I even feel immensely responsible to "make weekends count" .... to rest well enough and deep enough, to make make memories, to fill my kids cups. Not to mention all the social pressure to be more involved with school and church,  send out Christmas cards and connect with all the people I love on a regular basis.

I can't do it.  One way or another life doesn't add up.  Work - life balance swings towards work,  then towards life,  never settling in the middle.  I constantly organize and reorganize our house. Purging and simplifying. I cut things from my schedule.  I try not to do to much. I try to do enough. I try.  I try. I try.  Then, I look up from  helping with homework to realize I've burnt dinner . Defeated,  I turn on a movie and feed my kids cheese-its.

If life has taught me anything,  it's taught me that I can't live it perfectly.

If God has taught me anything,  it's that the gap between the perfect life I want and my inability to create it is...faith.

Faith doesn't remove consequences from our lives.  But it is a trust that God will be present with us,  no matter what....
and..
God will use us with our imperfections.

We can turn left or right and it will be ok because faith is a journey of many roads.  There isn't one perfect path that we have to follow to finish life without regret. It can be terrifying to let go and live with faith.  What if I get old and realize that out wasn't the right path? I can't undo life once I've lived it.

By letting go of the outcome, I can focus on the journey. If I don't worry about having a perfect vacation,  I can be open to the road and enjoy the scenery.   If I don't worry about living the perfect life,  I can be open to the life God has set before me.  Lent is a good time to remind myself of this and let myself off the hook.

"My burden is light and my yoke is easy..."