I usually write these posts from my phone while laying on the floor of my boys' bedroom as they drift off to sleep. The past few nights, I've been overcome with sleepiness and passed out on their floor instead of writing my post.
There is in life, moments when biology is stronger than our will. Sometimes you want to stay awake. You try. But you can't. You slip into sleep. Exhaustion, illness, child birth, death. When, despite our best efforts to be in control.... biology ultimately controls us and we are just present in it. In those moments, I think God is also present. We have no choice but to surrender. And, when we finally let go, the Spirit enters.
God is a mystery. Particularly on the other side of death. What lies there I have struggled with my whole life... and my while life still I will probably continue to struggle with it. But, faith is trust not proof. In the other moments in my life that required deep surrender, God has shown up.
I've come to think that maybe death it's like birth. Child birth is hard. You try to control it. You try to mentally stay on top. But... eventually...you reach a point where you just can't. You literally can't cross the gulf from where you are to the place where you will be when that baby is out. But then, it happens to you. The pain overwhelming. The effort past exhaustion... and then.. a cry. Joy. Life. That moment where pain collides with life. That, I believe, is where God is most fully experienced.
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