(This reflection is from some days ago but it has been stirring around in my heart to find good words for it)
7:35am. "Come get my money. "
It was just starting to get light. I had already been working a while. For her, I'm sure the night had bled into morning. Slowly, I packed up my laptop. got into my car and drove across town. I waited in the parking lot. She handed me everything she had and I drove her somewhere to sleep off the demons from the night before.
Addiction is complicated. Like autism, I think addiction is better described as a spectrum. On one end lies strong biological addictions that require medical intervention because the withdraw is so powerful that it can literally kill you. On the far other side are all the little bad habits, picking your nose, biting your nails, nervous tapping. Strong behavioral addictions that we don't even notice. They bypass our will and run on auto pilot.
"Let he without sin, cast the first stone. " I would wager that not one of us are completely free from addiction. There are a million vices to calm us and try to fill the void. Sex, information, food, facebook, cigarettes, caffiene, marijuana, alcohol, gambling, shopping... They are all pacifiers when life overwhelms us. We're all recovering. It takes courage to admit that and to ask for help.
That morning, I might venture to say that my friend was the more faithful of the two of us. Shining light into a dark place, she turned her back on temptation and choose mercy instead. Maybe during this season of redemption more of us can find courage to lay down our pacifiers.
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