Day 16: Letting Go

Sometimes we care so much about something it is hard to let it go.

It's not too often that I spend time on stuff that I don't care about.  I'm wired to breathe with purpose.  Each of us are made uniquely and one of my things is pouring my soul into stuff. At times,  I  tell myself to just do the minimum,  but I'm the guy with 87 pieces of flare.

One of the downsides of investing large amounts of energy into things is that they are not,  by nature sustainable.  Eventually,  a day comes when I have to let go of something I've poured my whole self into and watch it thrive or whither without my intervention. I used to be terrible at this.  My heart would break. Sometimes for days and months.  A form of grief.

These days,  I'm better at it, but I'm not sure I'll ever have the grace I see in other people. But I  can confidently say I've come a long way.  Letting go is the constant call of faith. Trusting an unknown future that you can't control.  Consequences are real. Sometimes things don't go to plan. But faith is leaning in and trusting in something unseen beyond the wins and fails of life.

I sit here in the dark room as my boys drift off to sleep.  One day,  I'll have to let go of them. Trusting I've given them what they need for their journey and that the rough patches and dark valleys that they will face are just as important as the mountain peaks. As much as I pour myself into helping them get off to a good start,  one day I'll turn responsibility over to them and I'll have to watch and probably pray that they choose gentler roads.

It makes me wonder if this journey requires faith on the part of God.  We have free will after all to choose any path.  As much as the spirit pours into us, God allows us to make bad choices. Somehow the essence of love is letting go of control and trusting deeply that all the love and passion you pour out takes root somewhere.

For me,  the loving part is easy.  The letting go will take me years to fully get right.