I am taking my first solo trip since 2013. I am headed to Vancouver for a few nights to attend a conference on fertility and Chinese medicine.
For the past 4 years, there have been very few nights that I've slept without a baby snuggled into me. Rocking Miles, I think I will miss him most. We've never been apart. It will be hard for both of us. But everything will be ok.
Faith is trust. I trust that my guys will be fine while I'm gone. I know in my heart that it's ok to leave them even if they cry at the door while I walk away. (I really hate that part).
Faith in God is that way too. A trust. A confidence. Something you know in your heart even when circumstances dictate otherwise. God is love. God is present. Even when it feels that he is silent and distant. (I also really hate that part).
Faith comes from relationship. I know my boys are ok because I know them in and out. I know that they feel safe and secure and have inner strength to thrive with a few independent days. Only my intuition as a mother lets me know that. My confidence is borne from my experience in loving them.
My experience with God comes from a path long walked together. I know God because I've walked with God. The path has had ups and downs, moments of closeness and distance. But, my children are confident because they know I will be there when they need me. I am confident that the Spirit is present with me and will give me peace in moments where I need it most.
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