They say you have to crawl before you walk.
Anyone who has spent a good amount of time with babies can tell you that they would much rather walk than crawl and that leaning to crawl may be one of the most frustrating experiences in the planet.
Miles is right there. He wants to move. He understands that he is limited by his inability to move and yet he can't quite figure it out. In fact, I think his frustration is slowing down his progress. Rather than systematically exploring how each of his limbs works, he flails them all at once and spends a whole lot of energy moving no where.
Watching him from the outside is amusing. He contorts his body in the funniest ways and often ends up with a giant faceplant. Luckily, he's a pretty good sport and looks up at me, half crying and half laughing with his toothy grin.
I soak in the moments watching him. He will soon be running with his brothers. And as I watch him try and try again, I start to think that faith looks at lot like learning to crawl.
Flail. Face plant. Panic. Flail again. Stop. Look around. Realize I haven't even moved. And we would all much rather walk, better yet, run.
I seem to learn a lot of the same lessons again and again... patience, humility, perseverance, trust, letting go, love. I think I have them down, but practicing them all at once looks like an uncoordinated attempt at grace.
And I think God watches me like I watch Miles. Mildly amused and rooting for me, knowing one day I'll eventually figure it out.
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