Day 20: Autism makes social distancing pretty normal for me

On day 5 of lockdown and I've realized that not a whole lot has changed in my life -- other than the whole no school thing.

Social distance is something that for many families with children on the spectrum becomes part of life.


Crowds are hard.
Restaurants are hard.
Sounds are hard.

Amusement parks,
museums,
play dates,
having adult friends,
going to bible study,
getting daycare...

All hard.

Most of our family vacations are into nature where my kids can let down their hair and have stimulation on their terms. Weekends and afternoons are either therapy or time at home.
Sports, clubs, etc... it's too much. They work so hard at "being good" at school that I can tell they just really need to unwind. So I give them space.

There was a piece of me that ached for social connection. I missed having friends. I missed adult conversation. There's a part of me that still does.

But in all the time I've spent with my little tribe, I've learned to lean in to time alone.
I'm an extrovert. This isn't my thing at all.

But nature is amazing. And my little guys are fascinated with all of it, even the parts that I overlook -- the bugs and the rocks and tadpoles and the movement of water.

I've grown more and more okay with myself and with other people. I've found myself to be less judgmental and more patient. I haven't had other people's words of judgement floating around in my head. The voices I hear are small innocent ones and that has made me more thoughtful.

I wanted to share for two reasons... one, time in isolation can be hard but it can work on the soul.... and two... there are so many people who live like this all the time. This level of isolation is normal for them. There are times I don't like being so alone and I am sure so many other special needs moms feel the same way, but our realities force us into a socially distanced life.

Whenever we get back to "normal" life, its worth pondering if there are ways to open our circles to the socially distanced. I'm sure there are other people in my life who are more isolated than they want to be -- due to age, mobility, disability, mental health, caregiving, work-hours. How can I widen my world to include them?