One of those take-your-breath away and fill you with gratitude blue skies.
74 degrees. You could wear anything and be comfortable.
Kids naturally landed on swings in the backyard as soon as they got home.
But... underneath... it felt tense.
Announcement after announcement of various things closing down and events canceled made it feel necessary to keep checking the news and media to see if school was canceled or other new precautions were being put into place.
Generally, I've been viewing all the precautions like wearing a seatbeat. We know that these things will help reduce sickness and save lives so we are doing them.
But... it's overwhelming. It's a pushing of the emergency response system button. And biologically, I think many of us have gone into stress response. A biological response to a threat that puts us in a "fight or flight" mentality where our amygdalas are activated and our responses are more primal.
Beyond this, though. There is something that feels unnatural.
When we face tough things, humans naturally gather.
We gather to talk. We gather to take care of each. We gather to collectively process and we are strengthened in a sense of commonality.
9/11, Challenger, JFK, Pearl Harbor....
We collectively experienced a earth-shattering moment and we came together.
But this isn't earth-shattering....and we can't come together. It's a slow-roll stress ball that we are dealing with separately at the same time. It's tiring, like a winter storm. How long will it last? How bad is it going to get? Life certainly has to get back to normal eventually, but between now and then, there's a lot of uncertainty and it's unsettling and we've lost one of our biggest tools for dealing stressful events -- community.
So how do we undo the giant stress ball when we're left alone in our houses freaking out about whether school will be open or if we should go to work?
Here are some of the meditations I've had in battling my own stress and fears today:
1. Naming my fears specifically: Scrolling through social media, I found myself simultaneously wanting to read and get more information while also feeling my chest tightening with stress at everything going on. I sat down and thought to myself -- specifically, what about this is stressing you out? I got specific. It felt smaller and more rational once I was able to articulate to myself what was working me up.
2. Setting down my phone: I wanted to know if the kid's schools were closing so I kept watch all day looking for updated announcements. But I realized that brief checks on my phone were longer than I wanted them to be as I scrolled interested in what other things were happening. Setting down my phone and being present at home gave me an escape from the world. I'll check when I need to, but too much news, I'm finding, is not useful.
3. Avoid Costco: I was out of toilet paper and laughed at myself about being a little stressed to go buy some. I was worried both that there wouldn't be any AND that people would assume I was a hoarder if they saw me with toilet paper. I ended up dropping by Lucky's, a smaller grocery store, as I walked to pick Philip up from school. They had toilet paper in stock. And I laughed at myself as I had to carry it on top of my stroller for several blocks walking down a busy street. I've vowed to stay away from Costco till at least the end of the school year.
4. Go outside: Nature is one of the perfect antidotes for "social distancing." It is one of the most rejuvenating places to be away from people. And... even if one comes across people in nature... they are mostly viewed at a distance. There are no objects to sanitize. There is just a beautiful presence of life that calms my thoughts and gives me freedom. I've decided that if the kids school gets cancelled it may be a good time to take a road trip to the middle of the desert for more rock collecting. I can't really think of a more pleasant or more "distant" way to be socially distant.
5. Do art: My favorite idea for supporting community during this is to make a #CoronaArtChallenge and get a trend going of making art while we are all stuck at home with our kids. We can have collective experiences virtually, we just need to get more creative. In the meantime, I called my mom. I may spend time emailing people encouraging notes (because this also happens to be a lent discipline -- two birds with one stone). These little things may help enhance the hormones of connectedness that dissipate stress response.
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