to make more space to show kindness to others
to reach out more.
I instead have found myself tending to a dumpster fire to keep the flames from growing out of control. My bandwidth for communication, thought or intention beyond the four tiny walls of my house seems to shrink as I've waded through the magnitude of this shelter-in-place -- 1 week, 2 weeks, 5 weeks, 8 weeks, 3 months.
Unsure of how long the time will be, I realize that I need to make a new normal for boys who cling to structure for grounding. And so, I pour myself into making and re-making that structure for them... and my intentions of reaching out go unmet... a small ping of guilt hits me every night as I let go of what I had hoped to do with my life this month and accept this present moment.
I was blessed with perspective today.
As I have been shifted into overdrive caregiving, I was reminded that many have been downshifted into a time with many open gaps. Friends and acquaintances have texted to check in on me. I received a card in the mail. Phone calls. Messages. Love.
My heart warmed by the irony of receiving the kindness of others in my circle.
On the exact other side of my lenten commitment.
Receiving and being restored by grace completely unable to offer handwritten notes or carefully crafted emails of my own.
I just receive and realize that God is present in the giving and in the receiving.
It is so beautiful to see faith alive in others
in prayers offered
words written
text messages
groceries delivered
encouraging words spoken
God made us in his image. In relationship. We are fed in the giving and receiving of ourselves to each other. Times like this peel back layers and allow us space to practice these holy rituals.
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