I couldn't get up and clean the whole house the way I have every other morning.
I got up and went to the couch and wanted to go back to sleep.
I would have except the kids started fighting... the day was going downhill because I didn't have the energy to create structure.
So I through them all in the van and had my husband drive us an hour to nature.
We sat and all through rocks in the lake.
We walked around and explored a bit.
Kids started getting hungry so we left and went through drive through.
We got home and the unexpected rain had cleared up and the backyard was sunny, so I threw them in the backyard. I glanced out the window to see them throwing bowls of mud at each other.
Too tired to really care.
Slowly cleaned the kitchen while they ran around like monkeys.
Eventually, they came in.
Bath. All of you.
Arguing. And then one wrapped his muddy self in a nice blanket and...
I lost it.
I yelled at all of them. Repeatedly.
"Mom, you broke your lent."
"I wouldn't break my lent if you wouldn't be such idiots. Now go get clean."
Truth is, I felt bad about breaking lent. I felt bad about yelling.
I had kept it together a whole week of homeschooling.
I had kept the house together.
I kept dinners on track.
I kept it together all week.
and today... I discovered, there was an end to keeping it together.
I will rest and recover. Sunday has come and it is a sabbath. It is a day of rest.
We will go to church online and kids will spend the rest of the day playing video games.
Maybe I'll clean.
Maybe I'll sleep.
Maybe I'll do art.
Maybe I'll play video games with the kids.
But I will rest.
It will be a day of rest.
God gave us Sabbath and a beautiful and holy day.
Set apart for rest.
A day to set aside the things that exhaust us.
A day that we don't have to keep it together.
Tomorrow I will rest. I will let go and let God renew me.
And Monday, I will get it back together.
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