Day 8: A little bit of self-doubt

One deep passion I've developed over time has been helping people with their health. I've led workout classes, served as a birth doula and served as a health coach. 

Our bodies give us each unique mountains to climb - both physical and emotional. Pain and limitations. Blemishes and fat in wrong places. Weird things. Things that undermine our self-confidence and freedom. They are the cages and temples we dwell in.

So, as part of embracing new things in life, I've decided to pick up an old hobby of leading a workout class. Church offers the space. I lead the group and it ends up being a free way to get a great workout.

I love working out.... once I get started. And I love sharing this with others especially people who don't see themselves as "the type to exercise." 

Perhaps my favorite group that I've ever led was a group of older women who had significant health issues -- very limited mobility, heart failure and the like. It was a gentle workout. We sat in chairs with hand weights. We stood up. We sat down. We walked around the room. I was inspired by those women. We made gains. We celebrated victories. And they kept showing up.

Cutting workout was one of the sad choices that I had to make as life got overwhelming and as I've seen space opening back in my life, it was first on my list to bring back.

But I find myself nervous and pushing back against a little self-doubt. It's been a while since I've done this. I don't even have friends anymore that I can invite so if anyone comes at all, they will likely be strangers. My heart screams all the ways I can fall on my face. 

Courage is not silencing those voices but staying the course despite of them. Faith is trusting that God has a plan in this and will be with me as I open my heart and self to new paths. Shutting doors and opening doors as I go. 

It's all very uncomfortable. But... there is joy ahead.