Day 29: Leaning into the Joy of this

I'm not going to lie. I've spent a bit of time fantasizing about being quarantined WITHOUT my kids. I think about all the things that I could do if it were just me....

1. Repaint the inside of my house
2. Deep cleaning
3. Cook fancy meals
4. All the amazing workouts that are currently livestreaming for free
5. Binge watch Netflix new series on CJ Walker
6. Organize resources to help my company deploy technology to help fight this stupid virus
7. Handwritten notes and paintings for friends and family
8. Mentally explore possibilities for a new chapter in life
9. Take long hikes
10. Connect with my husband

The list goes on and on.
Instead, what I actually did today.

Start the day with kids in front of youtube watching "How it's Made" Breakfast served, talking to them about plans for the day. They whine, resist and are overly silly. I can tell they have no gas. I have to get creative if I want to make it through.

"Let's build a pirate ship!"
I pull the sectional out in the middle of the living room and form it into a square.
"Quick, go get all your stuffed animals"
While they make trips hauling animals, I clean out under the couch. Sweep and dust. Scratching a little bit of that deep cleaning itch.
Everyone is onboard. Animals are safe. Fighting commences about how to play.
I pull out a dance party playlist and dump a gallon of soapy water on the floor.
"Come on in, guys, the water's fine."
They jump out of the boat and start slip sliding across the living room floor.
This carries on about a half an hour and then they start getting overly crazy. So I dry up the water and separate the couch pieces into 3 "bases."
"Ok guys, get in your base with your animals -- the game is -- through animals at your brothers. Once all the animals are on the floor we will pause and you can gather them up."

This got us to lunch. Everyone intact and the back room was spic-and-span (except for a large number of stuffed animals) I reassembled the couches and put everyone in the car.
We got drive thru for lunch and stopped quickly at Home Depot for a can of spray paint, a bag of dirt and some seeds.

After lunch, I sat them back in front of "How it's Made" while I attended an IEP meeting (special education plan) for Philip. Then, we cleaned out yogurt containers and poked holes in them and planted seeds in them. After that, we pulled out cardboard boxes from recent Amazon deliveries and spray painted them bright colors to re-purpose as gift packages to fill with books, arts and crafts and games to send to cousins which gets us mostly to dinner. They play Osmo while I tend to the house. Then shepherd them into the shower.

Everyone is still on edge and I can't get them to calm down. Even for night time reading which is a favorite part of their day. I end up putting them all side by side in my bed and we have a deep talk -- about cabin fever, corona virus, things that bother us, things that are hard for us and then we pinky promise to take care of each other and take care of mom and the new baby. They all cuddle in and drift to sleep to a podcast called "Get Sleepy" (which is amazing if you have kids or adults with sleep issues). As they snuggled in I sat at the foot of the bed and thought about what I'd write. I thought about all the things I would have done with the day if I hadn't had to spend every ounce of my energy keeping things together for them....and I thought about the greener grass on the other side of the fence.

Then I realized the grass is always greener. There was so much joy in my day. Memories and laughter. I need to grab hold of the Joy that is NOW. There will be another season for all the grownup things I want to do. This is where I am now and there is joy in. I shall grab this joy and be grateful for it today.