Lent Day 15: Taking inventory of my ability to be patient

I started thinking about topics for this blog mid-day and I thought it might be a fun exercise to reflect on my patience level.  Which activities did I feel more patience and which had less.

Patience
Doing homework with kids
Waiting at doctors office
Responding to customer questions at work
Sitting at traffic light
Waiting in line

No patience
Wanting to turn and waiting for traffic
Dealing with crying children
Waiting for someone to come to the front desk
Waiting for husband to get home from work

This exercise provides some interesting insight into what causes me to lack of patience:

1. Unexpected delays
2. Interruption
3. No idea how long I will have to wait
4. Feeling like someone is making me wait on purpose
5. Focus on a future goal rather than the present

What creates patience in me:
1. Love or compassion
2. Reserving space and being present
3. Recognition that the wait is temporary and will soon pass

As I reflected on this,  I tried the exercise of drawing from the things that create patience in me when in a situation that causes me to be inpatient...

Love when handling a trantrum or a late husband...
Recognizing the wait is temporary when dealing with traffic...
Drawing myself to the present and not focusing so hard on the future goal.

Breathing and simply saying,  "patience" breathed out my frustration and allowed calm to settle over me.

I can see why patience is a fruit of the spirit.  It is a spiritual practice to push back the human instinct to be insulted by getting cut off in line or reach for compassion in the face of a toddler hurtling a world of pain at you.  Most of the time,  my reactions are knee jerk.  Very little space between action and my internal reaction (even if I don't show out). The spiritual practice of patience (ground in to mothers and caregivers by sheer volume of opportunity to practice it) forces a choice to love in the face of insult,  press on in the face of long periods of discomfort and become present in the ordinary of life.

God is present in patience.  The peace that passes understanding.  The hope that reaches through today's suffering.  The love that draws out a meaning in life beyond ourselves.  We encounter God in these moments..  so I guess,  I can be grateful the next time someone pees on the floor.