Sunday, March 4, 2018

Lent Day 18: A small still voice

I need to get an amplifier.  Sometimes the Spirit of God blows so faintly that it's almost imperceptible. Like walking into a perfectly organized room where one little detail has changed.  My mind perceives something out of the ordinary,  but cannot put a finger on exactly what it is.

I felt that today.  Like deja vu. Something between a whisper and a breeze.

Life was happening at a million miles an hour.  We went to church and I stopped in on a church meeting before heading over to ulrichs folks house to watch his brothers kids.  Coming home to a mountain of housework. I set myself to the task of 6 hours of laundry, dishes, cleaning, food prep and yard work,  stopping to play with kids or read books in between tasks.  

While the day was in constant motion, it was reflective.  Cleaning and playing with kids can be that way.  And in the back corner of my mind I felt a ray of light poke through. I couldn't put my finger on what it was,  but it felt like the germination of a seed that would grow into a new sense of call.

I have been working hard to be faithful to the call at hand.  Our fledgling business,  4 small children,  ministering to various people in my life.  But I've also felt that there is an insight that I've been missing.  A way of being or a ministry or an opportunity to minister that I've not yet put together.  And for the last while I've been at prayer and in reflection of what more I could bring to the table.  How I might grow in my current life roles to bring more light or if there were opportunities to use my life to better bear witness to God's grace.

Like I said,  I wish I had an amplifier so I could better tune in to the signal that I faintly grasped a various points today.

Like groping in the dark heightens the sense of sound,  maybe lent itself is enough for me to turn up the sensitivity of my ears such that I can tune in to the whisper of the Spirit and orient myself to follow where it leads.

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