Waiting and uncertainty.
Combine these and you get one of the most uncomfortable of human conditions. Waiting with certainty allows you to make peace with the outcome. Uncertainty without waiting is like ripping off the bandaid, get discomfort out of the way quickly.
Unfortunately, God seems to like using this very uncomfortable state to deepen the spiritual journey. 40 years of wandering in the desert, 40 days of rain, 7 days walking around the walls of Jericho. Scripture is full of examples of waiting out uncertainty over long periods... perhaps the longest of which is the wait for the messiah, the day of redemption, the final defeat of darkness. The faithful wait and in our waiting, we meet God.
This week's scripture is the promise to Abraham that he will one day be a great nation. I think the story struck me harder since I work in the infertility space and walk along side those knee deep in heartache that accompanies the seemingly endless wait for a positive pregnancy test. Abraham was already old when this promise came. After lifetime of childlessness, he had probably finally made peace with the inability to conceive. This promise was like a cruel joke that thrust him back into the throws of uncertainty.
Lent has a way of bringing me into a wilderness of uncertainty. I do my best to resist the urge to make knee jerk decisions to resolve my inner conflicts. Rather, I try to purposely sit with it. Like an unresolved chord or a crooked painting on the wall, the feelings tap on my impatience. Breathing in and saying "Just wait. Easter is coming. " I let the uncertainty stay, an unwanted guest, I pull up a chair and offer it a place at the table.
If you are feeling your way through an uncertain fog... peace be with you and may the journey strengthen you.
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