Yesterday, I sat down first thing to meditate, pray and write my Lenten blog post. Upon clicking the publish button, I entered my normal Monday marathon of meetings.
Lots of things were off. It was a holiday so childcare arrangements were different which interrupted my meetings, I had no voice so struggled to respond to questions pointed at me. Maybe it was the weather or the fact that we had long hours of meetings on a holiday, but people were a little cranky.
I got cranky. I tried to shake it. I tried to remember my blog post in the morning... the power of love to push you to be selfless. I looked at my phone...a reminder "are you being light in the world today?"
Shut up, phone.
Truth is... I suck.
I went home feeling defeated.
Maybe I can shake this by loving on my littles. Miles ran to see me and I laid on the floor with him. Unable to talk I decided to build towers for him to knock down. In the silence of my play I worked to loosen the bad mood that had gripped me.... and then I remembered the women's retreat from last fall.
Focused on grace.
There is always a gap between who I am and who I want to be. Whether that gap is big or small...God fills that gap.
Even though I suck, God doesn't fire me.
Grace carries me when I just can't.
Grace carries me when I just can't.
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