Day 27 : My big fat Midwestern family

 

Red eye flight. 

Lugging suitcases. 

Grocery shopping.  

Finally settled in to our airbnb with my whole big amazing noisy family. 

I have four brothers.  Between us we have 12 children. This year,  instead of Christmas,  we decided to do spring break together in Florida. No gifts to deal with.  No stress from holiday events.  More family time and more time for cousins to hang out and play. 

The kids are over the moon. Swimming every day with cousins.  Warm weather after a wet and chilly winter.  It was such a great idea and the kids are having a blast.

But there's a rub. 23 people in one place trying to organize food,  sleep,  cleaning, outings. All the different personalities and needs. Everyone belonging but everyone needing slightly different things to fill their buckets. 

We started vacation with a meeting to hammer out things logistics wise and to create space for all the voices to be heard. There were of course different ideas and different preferences but in the end we agreed upon a course of action and we're using that for now. 

Love each other as I have loved you.

Love is easy far away from people when they aren't in your space and don't annoy you. Love is harder when you are all crammed together and have to bear with each others noises and food preferences and sleep habits. Forgiveness and grace are so essential to making love work up close.  

People are messy,  relationships are messy.  And in some ways,  our culture says that we can put ourselves first. But love is about putting yourself second and coming back again and again to keep trying,  even when it is messy. 

I think there is a special difficulty in trying to mesh extended family. People are both very familiar and also not as familiar as the nuclear family. When you are raising kids,  this is next level trying to navigate kids and discipline and teaching them how to get along. 

But it is worth doing.  Coming back again and again.  Talking it out.  Trying again.  Having another meeting to hash out plans and wants and needs.  Being part of the family I come from teaches me grace and love.  Making space for everyone and making sure everyone feels like they belong.