Day 21: How Frozen pointed me to God

Washing dishes, it dawned on me.  One of my most commonly prayed written prayers in this current season comes from Frozen II.

I've been thinking about prayer a lot this season. It's funny how I've been really pondering the basics - prayer,  sin, grace - how long and how often I've used these terms without thinking deeply about what they mean.  

Prayer was a very specific thing in my mind.  Words spoken to God specifically in a set apart time for praying. But them I thought about written prayer,  silent prayer,  prayers you read like the lords prayer and prayer services and I began to expand my heart to consider what is the essence of prayer. 

Prayer is that which orients us towards God.  

When we find a deep joy in our work that brings an awareness of God,  our work becomes a prayer of worship.   

A walk in nature that connects us in awe of the creation becomes a silent prayer of gratitude.

Music that bends our heart in contrition or longing, gratitude or praise becomes a psalm.

Washing dishes,  Into the Unknown, came on my Playlist. The words,  I realize,  come directly from my heart giving expression to my current season of faith...

I can hear you, but I won't

Some look for trouble

While others don't

There's a thousand reasons

I should go about my day

And ignore your whispers

Which I wish would go away, oh, oh-oh

You're not a voice

You're just ringing in my ear

And if I heard you, which I don't

I'm spoken for, I fear

Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls

I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls

I've had my adventure, I don't need something new

I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Into the unknown. 

Truth is,  in mid-life picking up and trusting God when you have a job and a home and a bunch of kids feels incredibly daunting.  It's easier to think about God calling me to incremental changes.  

Ironing out faults I've been working on for years, 

Volunteering more at church or in the soup kitchen

Not .... the unknown.  Where even is the unknown? What would I be expected to do in the unknown? 

I don't sense God calling me to sell my house or move across the country,  but still,  there has been a shadowy distant call into something unknown that I can't quite make out.  

And as I listen for God's voice,  this song becomes my prayer.  Bringing God close,  turning my orientation to an unknown call. 

I was talking to a prayer partner about this today and was surprised to find myself choking back tears. But I think I realized how much harder it is to consider following God into the unknown with all the little people in tow. 

Where are you going?

Don't leave me alone

How do I follow you

Into the unknown?