American culture values busyness. We are taught to work hard and do more. Layered on this, we are taught to balance work, family, friends and self-care. We are barrated for doing too much or for not doing enough. We've developed hacks for how to do more in less time. How to be efficient and effective.
I have signed up for every class and every life hack on squeezing the most out of every day. I have been creative to find ways to give more and lean into my passions even when it seems I am short on time.
But, no matter how much I squeeze in, there is more beyond that that I "should" be doing. Volunteering at church and school, more activities for my kids to develop themselves, more housework I haven't gotten to. There is a list longer than my arm of things I could and should do with my time, money and emotional energy. So how do I decide what to say yes to and what to say no to.
I have to admit that there are days when I want to say no to everything. I want to wall off and protect my time and energy to make sure it is there for my family. There are other days when I want to say yes with a deep desire to give of myself into a need that is our there in the world. Especially when that need is shaped like the kind of thing I can offer.
So how to decide...
There are many books on this topic. They offer various frameworks for decision making. But I wanted to write about a framework that I use as a first, and deeper pass that somewhat turns conventional wisdom on its head.
It is simply... am I called to this? And... am I called to this, in this current season?
I began to use call as a lens for life's decisions when I was still in high school. When I was 13, I had one of those Samuel moments when I deeply experienced God's movement in my life guiding me towards international work. I was unsure of whether this was "mission" work or "development" work as the heart of my call was to walk along side very poor people and help them build a better life for themselves and for their community. This was in fact a very complicated call that I worked years at untangling.
When I was 26, I moved to Davis, California and I found myself with a new call not only to consider the very poor but also to walk with people as they explored faith. I became a lay pastor and very involved with my church community. I did outreach and built ministries. I learned about the emergent church. I considered going to seminary.
In consideration of going to seminary and leaning into a call of full time ministry, I talked with many pastors and read books on discernment. How do you know exactly if God is calling you to do something?
The answer is very tricky. Here I am 15 years later still working it out. But I have learned a few things that have helped me use the concept of call to make decisions about how I spend the hours in my day.
First, call is both global and specific. There are many things that all believers are called to do - love each other, pray for our enemies, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, make disciples of all nations, etc. There are many things that Jesus both taught and commanded his disciples to do. But, we aren't expected to each do all of those things. We are a body of believers. And in this we each have a role. God made us each with a shape and jobs in mind.
Interesting, I don't think our "calls" or our "role" within the body of believers entirely stems from what we are good at. Look at Moses and Peter. I think rather it is a combination of our passion, talent and sensibility with a spiritual journey or learning that God has for us. I feel that in following my call so far, it has been as much a path that has been laid to teach me as it has for me to offer my gifts in service. Perhaps even more for my own growth, if I am going to be honest. And that is what makes call so hard. It's not just I'm great at baseball so I'll be a baseball player... there's more.
For me... the following things have been sign posts that make me consider if a given activity is part of my current call...
1. Does turning my back on this thing feel somehow like turning my back on faith or who I am meant to be?
Like everyone, I see tons of people asking for money regularly in my day. Sometimes I help. Sometimes I don't. But on a given day, there was a woman who came to me and I can't describe it but there was a feeling like God called me to care for her and to turn my back on her was to ignore my part in feeding the hungry. I helped her that day, and the next and the next. For 13 years... she calls me mom. I've learned more about Jesus from her than almost any other place.
2. Can I rearrange my life around this new call without abandoning other calls that I am certain of?
It isn't so much whether I have time. It is whether I can make time. Maybe I can quit my job or change my hours. Maybe I can put kids in child care. Maybe I can't.
Call can definitely turn my world upside down. More than once I just got on a plane with a suitcase and a vague idea of what I was headed into.
I might still be open to do something that wild with kids in tow if I knew certainly that it was part of my call and theirs.
3. Can I find God in this?
There are lots of things that we just do. We could say yes or no to going out on Friday depending on what we feel like doing. Matters of call have a silent, holy whisper that somehow softens the edges and I want to lean into them because I might find or experience God or learn more about the nature of God. And usually, when I look in the rearview, I find God's fingerprints in my life when I've taken up a call.
Call is tricky. Something I wrestle with. Something I want to be easy. I would much rather God just say, here... here's your spot, your job, your journey and your lessons to learn. The fogginess of trying to figure it out it frustrating and yet, I think somehow an essential part of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment