Day 11: Nicodemus

I was delighted to find in service this morning that this year we are reading my favorite series of Lent gospel lessons from John - Nicodemus, the woman at the well, the blind man and Lazarus.  I love these gospels because of the depth of the story,  the characters and the way that Jesus and the character speak both with and past each other.  Jesus is completely enigmatic and I  read again and again to gather in pieces of his meaning.  I always find something new as many times as I read and re read these stories. 

Today,  Nicodemus. If I am to be honest, I think Nicodemus is the character in the gospels that is the closest match to who I might be. (As evidenced by my love of these confusing stories) A member of the educated class,  the achievers of the day - stuck between law and tradition on one side and the Roman Empire on the other,  the Pharasees held the stress of protecting their people from Roman influence and ensuring that the people followed the law so to keep God happy. I imagine this to feel like both hard and worthwhile work.  I could see myself signing up for this. 

I could also see myself a little disgusted with the pride and arrogance of my pharasee colleagues. Years out of theology school, watching everyone jockey for position in the sanhedren and not really holding the same passion and fervor for the scripture that was so palpable in Hebrew school. 

But this young teacher.... he is really unorthodox. So smart.  So uncannily comfortable with the law, he almost plays with it.  He walks with sinners and heals people... on the Sabbath.  It's hard to tell what to make of him. Is he a prophet or a blaspheme? Whatever he is,  he definitely isn't part of the establishment. 

But Nicodemus had to know.  He cared too much. He still had a heart sensitive to the real reason he had become a pharasee to begin with.... and so,  under cover of night, he meets with Jesus and asks his questions. And Jesus responds with puzzles.  

He came to Jesus by night and said to him, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God."

3:3 Jesus answered him, "Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above."

3:4 Nicodemus said to him, "How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother's womb and be born?"

3:5 Jesus answered, "Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit.

I'm on team Nicodemus.  What are you talking about Jesus? You don't make sense to me. I want to understand... make me understand....

3:8 The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."

OK,  I can work a bit with this.  Metaphor.  There are things that exist that we can't see,  but can feel.  There are mysteries that we cannot unravel.  Somehow we must be born into this mystery opening ourselves to things we cannot see, to a kingdom we cannot understand.  

"Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

I will always be Nicodemus. Wanting to understand things that are beyond my understanding.  Asking and listening.  Hoping and knowing that there is something the little box of how I understand the world to work. Coming to Jesus thirsty, honest and with my little box of understanding in tow. May I find the heart of Nicodemus to keep risking breaking the world as I know it to receive the world as God sees it.