I knew it would be chaotic. The plan was to drop Philip at school and run to kohl's and buy some new Easter outfits as all the boys had grown out of the now dusty church clothes that I had pulled out of the closet Sunday night. I'd then run home, get everyone dressed, pick up Philip and head to the church where we would quickly record Zanders baptism and my Good Friday sermon and get home in time for miles therapy.
It was hectic. Boys running around the sanctuary as the pastor set up the camera and audio equipment. But there was something holy in the chaos. Everyone got dressed without a fight. Eager to participate in the baptism and share something with their little brother.
It wasn't poetic like an Easter vigil. Nor triumphant like the trumpet on Easter morning. It was a small group, mostly kids, fumbling through hymnals reciting a liturgy with mispronounced words here and there. The pastor, wearing formal robes over Tuesday morning work jeans, was patient and gentle. Teaching my boys about the symbols of baptism and the Greek letters on the Christ candle. My inlaws helped keep the boys on track. A godmother witnessed and participated over zoom.
But God was in the water.
I felt heavy bringing Zander to the water. Heavy with the weight of my Good Friday sermon. Bringing my chubby, happy, toothless grinning boy to the dangerous waters to faith where one day he'll find a cross of his own to pick up and carry. Why does faith ask so much?
But as I handed him over and watched the water spill over his head my heart lightened. Joy settled in.
God was in the water.
Joy was in the water.
There is more to faith than the cross. More than a demand to follow Jesus to a dark hill. There is light beyond that. There is love that has no bounds. There is freedom, peace, grace and life in the water.
I didn't need any extra pomp or ceremony to embellish the moment. There were that brief moment where everything melted away and God wrapped his arms around mine as I cradled the baby he gave me and I knew that God would hold that baby forever.
I'm so glad I brought him to the water.
No comments:
Post a Comment