I knew it was going to be a rough day when I got out of the shower to find my glasses split in two right at the bridge. A perfect split. Perfectly unrepairable.
As I get dressed and think through what I'm going to do, I glanced out the back window in my room, I notice boys misbehaving in the backyard. I knock on the window to get their attention and it shatters around my hand. Our house is old and the glass in the windows in not tempered. I've been meaning to replace them... I guess, no time like the present.
At this point, I mentally cancel all expectations for the day. If I can see by the end of the day or the next day, I will call it a win.
Noticing my hand hurts, I go to the sink to rinse it off. Minor scratches, no big deal... but I notice a small scratch across my wrist. I feel gratitude suddenly that it's a run of the mill bad day and not a call 911 type of bad day.
My hunt for vision begins. I check my old glasses. All of them held together with glue and completely unusable. I call the optometrist, they could order frames which will come in a day or two. Due to insurance issues, I have to get my eye exams done in one place and purchase glasses in another. This makes it more complicated and of course, my prescription is out of date. I call the eye doctor to schedule an appointment. Maybe they can fit me with contacts and give me a sample.
I grab Andrew's old glasses to see if they would help make things clearer in the meantime. They helped somewhat. I could see more details but the world was still blurry and I was getting a headache from working so hard to see.
I thought about a time I volunteered in an eye clinic in Africa and fitted an old man with his first pair of glasses. The prescription -18. To give you a sense of how intense this is, my vision as a comparison is between -4 and -5. I can hardly see traffic lights without my glasses. I can't read any signs at any distance. With Andrew's glasses, which are -3.5, I can see more things but still not read signs from a distance. This man had never worn glasses. I put those -18 on his face and tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at leaves in trees. Anyone who wears glasses can tell you the wonder of seeing individual leaves in trees. This man probably never even saw the trees.
I thought of him as I drove to the eye doctor. I couldn't go a single day without glasses. He had gone nearly his whole life.
While I pondered this, the verse popped into my mind:
"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."
I think about my spiritual vision as I try to drive with imperfect vision afforded by my son's old glasses. How does God see the world. Is my spiritual vision -2 or -4 or is it -18. When the veil is pulled back, I know I'll have that moment to taking in the completeness of all the things I don't understand now. I shall fully know and be fully known. I will cry tears of joy seeing perfectly how God works.... all the things that currently obscured by my poor, imperfect vision.
But as the verse that follows reminds me...
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I will wait for my new glasses and the day when the spiritual veil is rolled back. I will wait to see. In absence of sight. I am left with ...
Faith
Hope
Love
These are the things to hold on to when you can't see. And if you can only hold on to one of them, choose love.
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