This past week, I received the second shot of the Pfizer Covid vaccine.
I suspected my immune system would flare up causing a variety of discomfort, but I was excited none-the-less to end the year long war that I've waged against Corona virus.
As I prepared to get my shot, I did extra. I wrote up extra lessons for the boys. I cleaned the house extra. I made a meal. It was like getting ready for winter. Mom might go down for a day or two, we need to be ready.
But I also prepared to meet myself halfway.
I knew that even though I tried to prepare, I was going to have to push through whatever my immune system through at me to continue parenting and generally keep things running. It's what moms do.
So -- I made a mental checklist of things that would make it easier...
Comfort food, Gatorade, caffeine, Tylenol, a "play day" for the kids, some audiobooks.
As I made my list, some of the things were a bit against the "spirit" of my lenten practice. But echoes in my mind of this year's theme "more" and "less" reminded me. There is a time for all things. And in this moment, it is not time to be hard on myself. It is time to give myself some space.
It is tricky to know when to push through, push harder and grow from the pain and when to cut myself slack and grow from grace. I know its not always take the "grace" route and do what's the least effort and it not always the time to push harder, tightening my grip around a sense of self-reliance. Somewhere in the middle of more and less we find ourselves perfectly, constantly outside our comfort zones where we are ready to able to be shaped by our maker.
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