We got two new baby chicks today. Our plan was to have 4. One for each of the bigger boys. We got the first 2 last week and added the second 2 today.
We brought the new little darlings home and added them to the cozy little brooder. A funny thing happened. The big chicks started freaking out.
Peep
Peep
Peep
Who are these new chicks?
They are a different size than us?
Are they part of our flock?
They are sleeping in my favorite spot.
They are eating my food.
Something is wrong here.
Peep
Peep
Peep
Top volume, into the night. The boys had a hard time going to sleep. I listened to all the peeping thinking about how much a tiny change rocked their world. Do I do that?
My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar chant:
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Ever since Zander was born, Miles has become a little clingy. Whenever I pick up Zander to nurse him, like clockwork he chimes:
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Peep
Peep
Peep
Miles' world was turned upside down a year ago. He had a neat little schedule riding the bus to school, then to therapy, then home. He was independent in many ways. But then, the world closed. Some big scary thing closed all the playgrounds and school and even mcdonalds. And I think he decided he didn't understand what was happening so he better make sure he sticks by mom. But then, even mom began to change. And this baby came and changed his house.
Like the baby chickens, miles freaked out because his world was different in ways he couldn't quite grasp and all he could do was come up with this chant:
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
I turned on the some white noise for the chicks and refreshed their food and water. I scoop up miles and rock him while I read bedtime stories. I can be strong for them in the face of enormous upheaval. I can be gentle and make space to help them ease into a normal. I can be grace.
I know I've had seasons of feeling like those baby chicks or miles. Something changes at work or with the kids routine and it feels off and all day I feel a little alarm sounding in my soul....peep, peep, peep... something here is not OK. I'm not ok with this. I didn't authorize life to change.
And God meets me there,
strong in my upheaval,
gentle in my overwhelm,
grace that quiets my soul
And gives me peace.
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