Day 40: is revenge satisfying?

Ive been reading a book to the kids at night where the main villain finds it more satisfying to get revenge than to forgive people who have hurt her.

As I ponder what to write about tonight,  I wonder about the feelings associated with forgiveness and getting even.

Is revenge satisfying?
Honestly?

For me,  it's certainly fun to fantasize about.  That conversation where I tell someone off so elegantly that they feel terrible for what they've said. Or maybe, a bit of kharma -- even better if the universe punishes them and I can be blameless. 

"It's kharma, man. You had it coming. "

I'm almost tempted to say...
it is.

There is something validating about the words :    "I told you so."

It can feel a little good to be pretty

But...

Two things make me hesitate to honestly say that revenge is satisfying.

First,  it sets me back.  All this thinking and fantasizing consumes me.  Draws me from life filling focuses like love or art. It traps me and gives them even more if my attention,  more of my emotional energy. It doesnt get self satisfied. I don't think the thoughts once and move on... nope... or rolls over and over on a repeating loop.  Taking way more headspace than it deserves.

Second,  in cases where something bad happens. Where some sort of "kharma" actually kicks in or I have a conversation and share a few too many choice words.  I generally feel bad. 
Guilty.

I have way to strong of empathy to watch someone go through something and not feel it in my own heart.

So no.
I don't think revenge is more satisfying than forgiveness.
A shit ton easier to think about
And requires far less courage and self control to pull off.
But in the end,  forgiveness frees me to move on, to heal and to focus my emotional energy on things that are life giving.

Jesus carried forgiveness to the cross.