Day 20: Half-time report

Halfway through Lent and as I could have predicted, what my life looks like on Easter morning is obscured in a haze forcing me to trust God's plan and timing.

For the past 5 months I've been helping to put together this major conference -- which will take place next week in LA. The conference could be an amazing success or abysmal failure of colossal proportions. I have been praying very hard and have a sense of peace about it. But it is hard to not be full of anticipation, wondering how a course of events will unfold.

Our little start-up has continued to make strides in growing up and all sorts of big events lie in the near future. I am hopeful about the path that is unfolding, but like everything else, it is obscured in a fog of uncertainty and I take each step in faith.

Contractions come and go. They are stronger than they have been in previous pregnancies and some of them are really starting to knock the breath out of me, but I haven't seen any real signs of labor. So this baby may, like Andrew, hold out until after my due date -- would would mean sometime in May.

Lent has, already, in many ways re-centered me in faith. Wrestling with God through sleepless nights and dreary days. Re-learning the rhythms of grace. Praying through the stress of my in-box (which has been a fabulous practice). Has grounded me. I still question at times my discernment and struggle with with how to balance the call of motherhood and business. How to make those things each truly a ministry. How to infuse grace and God's presence into my every day. But, the holiness and peace of Lent discipline has settled around me like a thick blanket of snow.