Lent Day 22: Priorities

Ever since I left the formal work world I have struggled with balancing priorities. Work gives us routine. Gives us large chunks of life that are non-negotiable. But, in the absence of work creating structure  in your life, you have to figure out each day what is important and what should draw your attention. For me I balance quality time with Eddie, earning extra income to support our household, various volunteer activities, helping my family and participating in church. Some days have clear priorities. A crisis comes up. A big project. Eddie gets sick. But many days there is nothing particularly special and after the morning rush of getting Ulrich out the door for work, I sit down and wonder -- where is my focus?

I wish God were a more involved boss. I want a performance review. How am I doing against our objectives? I want direction on the latest projects that he has in mind for me to work on. I come in prayer, like email messages, they go off. I know at some point I'll get a response but not usually right now when I want it.

This Lenten journey so far has served to complicate my to-do list. Making it even less clear where God would place my time and attention. I have the urge to take action. To make a plan. To take control. But, deep inside I hear the voice -- "wait, be still. You are still in the wilderness. I will lead you and make priorities for you. Trust me with your life." "But God," I respond --" What do I do in the meantime??"

"Be still and know that I am God."