Good Friday: Surrender

Good Friday.  I started the day a little sour.  The gray sky,  the pain in my body, the somber feeling that lingers in the soul. The day of the cross.

Ulrich and I had made plans to explore the coast in the peninsula so we drove down to Monterrey.  It was still pretty early and the town had not yet fully woken up. We ate breakfast and walked Cannery Row.  I stopped at a overlook of the ocean. Kids were down below playing on the sand and climbing in the rocks.  Behind me, a native American musician set up shop playing drums and a wooden flute.  I stayed there nearly an hour.  Still.

Finally,  we headed back to the car and drove Highway 1 North to Santa Cruz.  We parked downtown.  I was struck by how much you can tell about a town based on the downtown. Monterey was old and sleepy. Santa Cruz was young and liberal. We walked the stretch of downtown, ate a bowl of noodles and headed North again. Another hour on Highway 1 to Half Moon Bay. The views along the highway were stunning,  expansive. 

In the car I read chapters from the book Desperate.  Mediations on motherhood.  More or less quick thoughts on how to survive the struggle of life with young children. I was uplifted.  We stopped at a beach and went for a long walk on a cliff trail.  Maybe 100 feet below was a spanse of perfect sand.  Tiny people walked along the ocean holding hands.  Tiny dogs ran freely,  frolicing as the waves washed in.

We found this cool ledge surrounded by trees,  protected from the wind.  It was a place to rest.  My heart was completely still. 

"It is finished"

I let go of the struggle,  the worry,  the future.  I let go of the pain,  the birth,  the stress.  Rather then dwelling in the agony of the cross,  I found myself at peace with the commitment to obedience.

After the sweat and blood and tears of Gathesemane, Jesus faced the cross with an eery calm.  The world got so worked up around him.  But Jesus was resolved.  The peace of the Spirit dwelled with him in his complete obedience.

On the edge of that cliff,  I found myself embracing the calm. I brought everything to the cross and I left it there. 

It is finished.