Day 34: Impatient

Lent is growing long. 

I am growing weary. 

So here is a brief lament:

I feel impatient that my body hasn't fully bounced back and I wake up to the feeling of nausea. 

I feel impatient about the uncertainty about the future of the church and what the call of the faithful should be in this historical moment. 

I feel impatient about uncertainty my own ministry and vocation in this moment and in the season to come. 

I feel impatient with the process of determining the next right decision for each of my boys. I know the process works and God provides. But I am impatient. 

I'm impatient with lent and the daily reflection for this blog and choosing to do things the hard way every day, waiting for Easter. 

Weariness and lament are part of this season. 

Jesus wept even when he knew resurrection was around the corner.  

He prayed with sweat and blood and tears as he stared down the road ahead. 

This season is a space to search for God and to pick up spiritual practices. It is a time for wilderness and wondering.  For hope and ache and longing.

I feel my impatience and weariness as a heavy blanket and yet,  closed in my fist is the tiny light of hope. Easter is coming.