One of my lenten practices is reading a couple of books. One of them is called, "Life worth living. " The supposition of the book is that there is something worth living for. Something beyond being happy and healthy and having a long life. Something worth sacrificing health, happiness and even life for. Whether we want to or not, one of our works in life is to answer the question - what makes life worth living? What is worth doing with our life?
I just finished a chapter that describes levels of consciousness. The top level, the authors call auto- pilot. This is the automatic. What we do habitually without hardly any consciousness. This is where we live most of our time.
The next level, they named effectiveness. This is the level where we plan our days and set our habits. We make a goal of running a marathon and then we make a habit of running every day.
One more level down, we find self awareness. This is where we define what we want and what we value. I value health and make it a priority.
The deepest level is transcendence. This is a level deeper than ourselves. This is the place where we wrestle with what makes life worth living. What is worth dedicating life to.
I finish the chapter, set the book down and get back to life. Standing up off the couch, I sigh, the floor is littered with the remains of a very fun playtime. Magnatiles, legos, tinker toys, action figures, matchbox cars and itty-bitty scraps of paper... maybe a gluestick or two.
"OK, time to clean. "
First a little music and something to think about.
Today's photo challenge is a picture of the word "call"
Call.
The thing worth dedicating life to.
Call has always been an important word for me. It embodies the idea that God made us each in a particular way and there are journies that we each go on in life where we find and do the work that is worth our humanity. It is the place where we fit... or it the place where we are wildly uncomfortable but God has led us to be.
Before I had children, I had a clear vocational call. Social justice. I worked in the poorest places in the world with a desire to empower people there to make changes to improve their communities.
When I married a bioengineer, I knew I would likely be tethered to the affluent places in the world and that my call would likely have to change. It was a very hard decision to make but I felt sure that God would be able to find ways for me to continue my work even if I called the Bay Area home base.
The kids came along. We moved. Life happened. I found myself running a startup. Call had changed. Covid happened. I left work. I homeschooled my kids and had a baby. Call changed again.
For the past few years I've been on a journey to reinvent myself. To imagine what my call might be when the kids grow up. And if it when the time and space will be for me to reach again beyond the walls of the house.
So my thoughts turn to "call" as I clean up legos off the floor. What picture could I take that would visualize the journey I've made, with the journey that I am on, with the heart that I have for the world.
What is worth my humanity?
This is.
Cleaning up legos.
Raising amazing little humans who have unique gifts and a call of their own.
This is transcendence. Life beyond myself. A thing worth sacrifice.
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