Day 0: What are you doing for Lent this year?

I have a ritual to schedule a call with my best friend in early February to review our Lent game plans ahead of Ash Wednesday. This year, we had a luxuriously long call during the Super Bowl. We noticed that the past few years have been a little underwhelming and we both felt like we craved a more meaningful Lent this year and like shopping hungry -- our list of potential practices were a little ambitious and needed to be paired down a little to be more realistic. So... in this post, I decided to share what made the list and also, some things I considered but will hold off for another year. 

Giving up:

• Diet coke
• Going out to work (instead of working at home)
• Parenting after 9:30pm
• Limited media and social media (no scrolling)
• Generally goofing off on my phone
• Unnecessary purchases
• Limiting fast food, snacks and "drinks" as a family
• Kids are giving up video games
• Intermittent fasting at least 14 hours a day

Adding

• Daily 15 minutes of exercise paired with prayer or spiritual music
• Permission to workout as long as my body wants to even if it means less "productive" day
• 15 minutes of reading things off my reading list - aiming to complete "A Life Worth Living" "Atomic Habits" and "Habits of the household: Practicing the story of God in everyday family rhythms"
• Daily Blog post and possibly bonus daily photo or artwork
• One additional "Zander" day - 2 full weekdays with Zander instead of 1
• Morning tea with my spouse
• Self reflection practice -- curiosity to better understand where emotions, actions and words come from 
• Initiative to connect with people in my community -- being more present in conversation, warmer greeting, texting people I haven't talked to in a while, etc

Things I considered:

• Giving up laundry or cooking (we decided the house isn't quite ready for this level of spiritual growth)
• Processed food
• Some sort of "Date your spouse" challenge
• Giving up caring what the house looks like 
• Not yelling (I've tried, and spectacularly failed this one)
• Some sort of suspending judgement (I've also done this one before -- no nagging my husband or judging him -- it was a tough one)
• Giving up productivity -- not worrying about how much I get done.

The list looks a little long and random but really, I'm adding 3 big focuses that I hope will make for interesting introspection this Lent and lead me down new paths as I search to grow closer to God.

Practice 1: Blow up my morning and night routines to make space for more meaningful things

My evening and morning routines have gotten stale and are no longer serving to inspire or grow me or my family. So, I'm using Lent to shake things up and drop a bunch of stuff that used to be life-giving but has become a bit of a rut. As a pastor friend once said, Lent is when we pull out the pacifiers and live with the empty space they used to fill. There's a whole of pacifier in my current routine and its going to feel a bit strange to pull

Practice 2: Distance myself from marketing messages and be curious about what influences me

I have a hunch that while I'm not an overly commercial / consumer kind of person the sheer amount of marketing that structures our world has deep and profound impacts on how I see myself, how I raise my kids and even on my faith. So, I am going to try to distance myself from marketing and reflect on where thoughts, impulses, behaviors and beliefs that I have come from. I'm sure this will be interesting. 

As I reflected on where I might encounter marketing -- I realized it is everywhere and it will be difficult to avoid -- packaging, stores, coffee shops, restaurants, doctors offices, social media, news, signs along the road. I won't be able to avoid it -- but if I limit my time shopping and eating out, simplify the types of things I buy and limit my use of my phone, maybe I can cut the amount of marketing I'm exposed to in half? And perhaps, I'll be more mindful of where I see it and what kinds of messages are out there. 

I'm also curious to see where my own thoughts come from -- when I'm impatient -- asking myself why? Why do I feel impatient -- am I tired of waiting or do I feel like life is supposed to be fast and convenient? I want to hold myself with a bit more grace, as I have learned to do for my children, and observe where my emotions and beliefs come from and open more space for God to guide and intervene in matters of my heart.

Practice 3: Lean towards connection

If marketing and content is curated. If social media is the version of ourselves that we want the world to see. What if I leaned in and tried to see the world around me as it really is? 

My 3rd practice is to live with a slowness and presence so as to have space to really see and connect with people around me. Change up my greeting to ask about something specific or invite to actually share life. Text people I usually just connect with on social media.  

This includes connecting with and making real space for people in my own family. Taking Zander out of daycare one more day a week to spend 2 days, rather than 1. And in doing this I will have time to just spend an hour helping him learn how to get dressed. There is a patience that comes from slowing down enough to allow a little one learn how to do things on their own. It is infuriately slow. But, it blossoms with an awareness of the world that we cannot take in when we move at the speed of grown-ups. 

Wrestling with my need to be productive

Inevitably, all this space for reflection and connection is going to come from somewhere... and so.. I am certain that as a byproduct I am, in a way, giving up productivity for Lent. I'll probably bill fewer hours in my consulting role or maybe my house will get more messy than I want it to be. And.. I'll have all kinds of opportunities to reflect on my emotions and beliefs around things like billable hours, a tidy home and getting places on time and I will have the change to wrestle with how I am shaped by marketing and the culture around me and how I am shaped by a timeless God who loves me tirelessly. 

I have a sense there is a going to be a lot of kicking and screaming this Lent. But... bring it on. I'm feeling spicy.