Day 25: Faithful

Eddie threw up all over me today. Motherhood is messy. It is also not a short-term commitment. For the next 18 years, I will pour my heart and soul into raising these boys. And, even after they are grown, I will continue to love them, worry about them, pray for them and go to the end of the earth for them. That's what being a mom is all about.

Faithfulness is about sticking to your commitments even when it is inconvenient or messy. Getting thrown up on or answering the phone at 2am. There are days, I have to admit, when I'm ready to throw in the towel. I'm tired of crying babies or messy house. I'm tired of inconvenient phone calls from friends in need or working for free hoping to get our business off the ground. But I have to take a deep breath and remind myself to put one foot in front of the other.

It can be that way with faith too. Sometimes God feels far away. There was a 2 year period where I prayed everyday pleading for God's presence. Silence. I had to decide if I would stick it out or give up on faith.

I imagine that there are days when God would assume give up on me. When I'm that annoying phone call at 3am or that tantrum before bedtime. When I insist on living life my way, all the while ignoring the grace and path God has laid out. And somewhere, remembering what it's like to be human, he takes a deep breath and patiently shows me the way I should go.

There is a great joy that comes with faithfulness. It takes the fullness of time to realize. As I watch my boys grow. As I look back at the richness of my relationships. As I lean on my faith and realize how strong it can be, I smile deeply. I'm glad God hasn't given up on me.