Day 36: Sweet mercies

A woman from church read my blog post and the next day dropped off some amazing cream to help relieve my itchiness. On more than one occasion, this beautiful lady has been God's grace directed straight at me.

I think about how many times a thought has occurred to me -- I've read something on facebook or seen something -- and felt compelled to act, to give, to show up. How often do I actually follow through on that thought? Has God ever directly given amazing grace through me?

Truth is, I would have been fine without the wondercream.
I would have soldiered on as I was expecting to do.
But, in this exact moment, there was nothing that spoke grace louder.

It's caused me to reconsider my impulses to help, to give, to be present.
Could I breath grace into the world today?
Even in this time,
hunkered down,
isolated from the world,
so focused on the little humans under my charge.
Could I make space to be grace to someone?

It's not so much the largeness of the act. It can be very small things.
But it stems from seeing people where they are and allowing the Spirit to move me.
Just enough space to be present in the world that I live in and not so caught up in my own plan which is likely not going to be followed in any case.
And is that not one of the deep lessons I should teach these little people -- to be present and to consider the need of the world in front of them.

This week, I will follow Jesus to the foot of the cross and beyond. The amazing journey of sacrifice that I re-imagine every year with the retelling of stories and the movement of ritual. It will be different this year. The foot washing, the meal, the stations of the cross, the bright burst of song on Easter morning. But as different as it may be in ritual and action, the invitation, the story is the same.

Even as I write this post, I feel condemned by how much of my brainspace is dedicated to me and my agenda and how little of it is dedicated to the grace I could help bring into the world. Jesus was so present with people. The woman who touched his robe in the crowd, the centurion who had a sick daughter, even the criminal who was dying with him. Even as he died. Even as he died, his mind was present with the opportunity to reflect God's love into this world.

So, I will pray in earnest this week to be turned by God to open my heart to the opportunities staring me straight in the face to offer more light. I will pray to set down my agenda in exchange for the presence to see need in front of me and to respond to it with compassion.

Lord, have mercy.