Zander has been having EPIC meltdowns lately.
I've gone into troubleshooting mode. Looking for patterns. What is the trigger? What's the difference between good and bad days. My best guess is that school academics are ramping up and he's more tired. Maybe his body is growing.
Whatever the cause, they are hard. And I don't have the easy button. Snuggle with mom and watch a show. Nope. Just nuclear meltdown with no backup plan.
Today after maybe 45 minutes, I picked him up, put him on my bed and said, "Mom loves you so much and you are safe. Im taking you into the shower to help your brain calm down."
He went limp and let me take him.
Slowly he recovered. He played with the water. He played with the soap. He found his footing, his calm, his smile.
Sometimes, when I'm spiraling, I push back against God. I fight and argue and rationalize. In some ways, like Zander, I want to stay stuck in my meltdown. Like Job, I have so much to say - maybe even to shout at God.
But God can mother me, with strong arms, lifting me out of my meltdown and placing me back in the water. Remember who you are.
Beloved, if you feel tired or angry or alone or ready to kick someone.... May God bring you back to the water and remind you of who you are.
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