That moment on a long run when suddenly you run out of gas. You tell your legs to keep going, but they disobey. Mile after mile, you've run, then suddenly your body just, stops.
I wish I were running these kinds of distances. I'd love for this post to be about hitting the wall in the true sense.
The past few days sleep has alluded me. Sick baby. Clingy toddler. Night parties in mom's bed have left me lacking energy. I've been faithful to my daily run but I find it incredibly hard to make my body move. It feels like I've hit the wall before I've even started.
Interestingly, the body wants to compensate. It tries feeling hungry. Maybe it can find more energy if it eats more. Nope. Still can't move.
A few months ago, our pastor gave an interesting sermon on the bridemaids with the oil lamps. His take on the story was that it was very uncharacteristic of Jesus to tell a story with the message being -- "Be prepared or face judgement." Even stranger that the "good" bridesmaids didn't share. What is going on here? he questioned us.
An interpretation he gave us was -- if the lamp is our light, our love, our faith that we bring to the world. The oil is our relationship with God. By fueling our faith, we are able to be a light in the darkness. There will be a moment that comes like a thief in the night when we will need that light to shine. Will our lamp be trimmed and ready?
I'm tired. I've never been so busy in my life. 3 small children constantly demanding my attention. A job that is harder than anything I've ever tried to do before. I've cut out every last bit of inefficiency from my time. Still it doesn't add up.
I savor lent because it forces me to spend time renewing and enriching my faith. It's hard to carve out the space. As I write this my two year old screams at me -- MOM! STOP WORKING!
Lord, put oil in my lamp that it may continue to burn brightly.
No comments:
Post a Comment