I have been spending more time in prayer and reading about prayer and wondering about the theology of prayer. One thing that I am starting to see in my life is a changing and a melting of who I am into my prayers. While life stays invigoratingly disheveled, I am at peace to let it be on its own path. In my Old Testament reading, today was a survey of the life of Abraham. One of the main points that stuck out was the amount of wondering he did before drawing near to the land, the blessing, the offspring promised to him. Conversation with God along the way encouraged him through the journey. Conversation with God encourages me too.
The space, the emptiness, the waiting for God to act gives me more time to reflect on situations that demand me to be respond with love. If my pace was quicker. If my life simply resolved and I moved on to the next phase without this haze of wilderness I would not take notice to these situations. I would cast them off as something I didn't really have time to attend to. But this empty, pregnant time gives me the opportunity to see and to respond. Prayer gives me strength, wisdom and love and I find myself being transformed.
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