Most of our employees are young and this is their first real job out of college. They are eager, incredibly hard-working and have a deep desire to learn and grow. I think they have been one of my deepest blessings this year. Ulrich and I have decided to this use the opportunity to really mentor our young staff. So we've implemented fairly regular performance reviews.
In my past, performance reviews have been a bit scary. Usually, its the time when the boss comes and tells you everything you've done wrong, peppered with obligatory "strength statements." They have come from a detached, distant authoritative figure head who comes to pass judgement. And all I can do is hope, just hope, that I've been good enough.
These performance reviews have a very different tone. We get out of the office and go to Country Waffles. We talk over breakfast and explore where are opportunities to grow, stretch and develop more fully. Maybe it's because I'm sitting on the otherside of the table, but I feel the conversations to be more relational, intimate. Rather than a passing of judgement, its an invitation or challenge to grow.
My relationship with God has seemed to grow into a mentor-style relationship with cycles of intimate conversations of where and how to grow and distance where I am left to carry out the work I was given with a bit of independence. The church calendar seems to strongly facilitate this cycle. Starting in Advent, I can feel the breath of God drawing near. Inviting me to listen. Life events start to create a pattern that open a dialog and by lent, I am open and malleable, ready to listen.
God has drawn near and over the next 40 days I will pour out my hurts, inadequacies, dream and desires. In return, I will be invited to let go of control over new areas of my life. To trust. To die to myself. And Easter will come. I will be made new.
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