Lent day 4: Prayer

My day was focused around having a bbq to get to know some of the other young couples / parents from our church. It went well. 9 adults and 6 kids showed up and we all seemed to have a good time getting to know each other better.

In the prayer book that Ulrich and I are reading, the focus of tonight's section was on prayers' ability to turn your focus on what needs to be done and prompt you to do it.  As you ask for things, you meditate "well, how have I helped with that?"

Praying for other people empowers us to find mission. Who in our lives needs prayer? What do they need prayer for? Even if the situations in people's lives are far beyond our capacity to fix or resolve, the focus of praying for them connects us to them. Creates a compassion in our hearts for their situation and draws us into a place of openness and willingness. Then, take Jesus's command -- pray for your enemies....hmmm....

Lent Reflections Day 3: Uncertainty

I can feel the winds of change beginning to blow in my life -- stirring up a sort of uncomfortable uncertainty about the future. Our household, our church, my work situation, Ulrich's work situation, our family -- all are in the midst of some form of transformation and for now a veiled in a sort of uncertainty that feels very much like Lent.

I wonder why we go through these uncomfortable moments? Why does change and uncertainty (even when we know whatever happens will be good) feel so hard and uncomfortable.

I am trying to rest in the uncertainty and be at peace in it.

Lent Reflections Day 2: God's Will

As part of our Lenten practice, Ulrich and I are reading together and praying each night. Tonight's reading makes for a good blog post. We are currently reading from Philip Yancy's book on Prayer, which I highly recommend. What strikes me most from today's reading was a quote from Eugene Peterson who translated the Message.

Greek has a middle voice - something between passive and active "which describes the subjects as participating in the results of the action. It reads as a description for Christian prayer... I neither do it, nor have it done to me....

I will to participate in what is willed"

This to me is a great devotion for the journey of Lent. Preparing ourselves to participate in what is willed. Opening ourselves to join in what God is doing in our lives, whatever that may be. How can we, through prayer, find ourselves participating in God's will? In practice, how do we discern it and how does prayer move us from where we are to the place where God would have us be?

1st Day of Lent

It was an odd first day of Lent for me. The weather here was absolutely beautiful. Eddie ran around outside naked for a while and I sat and soaked up the sunlight, reflecting on Lent, God and the journey I will be taking for the next 40 days.

I spent the day entirely alone without much to do besides keep Eddie busy. It was on one hand beautiful and relaxing and on the other lonely and isolating. Entering into the wilderness. We have seasons in life and this time in Livermore has most definitely been a season of wilderness. Of wondering mostly alone trying to figure out what's next -- what should I be doing with my life? Who am I now?  These questions don't have quick or easy answers. I've been asking them since Ulrich and I got married but they took on new dimension after I lost my job and had Eddie and moved to a new town where we didn't know anyone and despite my best efforts I haven't been able to make a single close friend.

Lent heightens this feeling of wilderness, but each year a promise of finding God in Easter carries me through the wilderness time.

Biblestudy frustrations

So I think I am going to use this blog to chronicle a bit of my faith journey and maybe those of you who find time to  read it can dialog with me on issues of Spirit.

Livermore as a town and circumstances of life more generally have been re-exposing me to more conservative theology. I find it balancing and struggle with the merits of each (progressive and conservative theologies) in drawing me into a closer relationship with God. I felt this tension at a biblestudy I attended this past Sunday evening. I was frustrated with a bible study for being too academic and contextual (this is a first). It left very little room for God to be expansive, timeless, present.

 We opened to Isiah 55. I came to the scripture rather indifferent about it, but hopeful to experience God. I don't always connect with many of the prophets of the OT.

It started, "Come, you who are thirsty, drink."

My mind was taken to the woman at the well. To Jesus inviting us to living water.

It went on to say... "Gods word is like the rain and snow. It falls to earth but doesnt rise back up again without watering the earth."

I thought about rain. The mystery of it falling and evaporating, but in the process nourishing grass and trees.  I thought of Jesus, word made flesh, filling the earth with Gospel before leaving again. I thought of living water. Always nurishing.... The earth never dried up. Jesus came and through us the word keeps circulating. Re-nurishing us again and again.  I made progress on thoughts of jesus. But the pastor continued to refocus our understanding of Isiah to the prophecies of liberation for Israel from Babylon.

Is there some theology that allows me to critically understand scriptural context without bounding God to a specific time or place? Can biblical writers write both to their contemporaries and to a future generation looking back? Can this happen without misintrepretation or coopting the scriptures for ones own purposes or renegade theology? Can one see Jesus and the church in the old testament while respecting its Jewish context and history? How can you tell what's what?

Jesus gathers his disciples

35 The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. 36 When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!”  37 When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. 38 Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?”

They said, “Rabbi” (which means “Teacher”), “where are you staying?”

39 “Come,” he replied, “and you will see.”

So they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent that day with him. It was about four in the afternoon.

40 Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. 41 The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, “We have found the Messiah” (that is, the Christ). 42 And he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas” (which, when translated, is Peter).
43 The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.”

44 Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. 45 Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”

46 “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked.
“Come and see,” said Philip.

47 When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.”

48 “How do you know me?” Nathanael asked.

Jesus answered, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”
49 Then Nathanael declared, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the king of Israel.”

50 Jesus said, “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that.” 51 He then added, “Very truly I tell you,you will see ‘heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

John Testifies about Jesus

29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! 30 This is the one I meant when I said, ‘A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’ 31 I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel.”



32 Then John gave this testimony: “I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. 33 And I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, ‘The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ 34 I have seen and I testify that this is God’s Chosen One.”[f]