In our house, there are a lot of feelings about Christmas. Some years it's overwhelming and the kids need a break and they don't want to put up a tree. Some years there are rules about when Christmas season actually begins and the tree can't go up until Christmas is close enough. Some years there is indifference. Some years there is joy and deep connection.
This year, there was joy. There was gathering of boys and looking at ornaments. Pictures of younger versions of themselves and school ornaments and memories of Christmas past.
I thought about the christmas season. How some people are so ready for it. They can't wait for hallmark movies, hot chocolate and Mariah Carey.
I thought about how the shopping season hits me and I browse and suddenly I'm thinking more deeply about all the people in my life. Wondering which gifts will be well loved. Wondering who I should buy gifts for and possible acts of service. I start to unfold myself to the season and I try not to over schedule myself so I can whole heartedly say yes to moments that bring joy.
As much as Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus, it is also a season of love and joy and hope that we bring by allowing ourselves to be washed in the traditions of love and joy and hope.
What if we held the hope of the return of Christ so vividly, that we decorated for it?
What if we knew the day and hour that creation would be fully redeemed? The mystery of God. The new heaven and earth. When tears are wiped away for good.
How do you decorate for that?
I graduated from grad school bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to make a difference in the world. I applied to so many amazing jobs. But it was a recession and I was one of hundreds sending in my resume.
I bought myself interview clothes. But no interviews came.
My hope wilted some as days, then weeks, then months passed. But surely some day I would get a job and start my life. People do it every day. Those clothes hung in the closet as a sure reminder that some day my life would start.
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I bought a onsie from a thrift store not long after my husband and I decided the time had come to start "trying."
Like my interview outfit, that onsie stayed folded in my drawer for months.
And then, a line. A second line. Two lines!!!!
But what felt shockingly certain in one moment, faded quickly as all the possibilities unfolded. Statistics about miscarriage looming in my mind. The stubborn silence and relentless nothing different that I felt in my body. Maybe the test is wrong. Maybe there is no new life.
Weeks turn to months. And mostly silence.
I had some cartoon in my mind about what pregnancy would feel like. A belly that would stretch over night. Throwing up everywhere. I felt like me, but tired and a bit of an upset stomach. It felt like stress at work, not a miracle.
And then one day, I felt him move. It was undeniable. There were two of us alone on the couch together. I put my hands on my belly and allowed hope and joy and love to wrap around me. A small person was going to join our world and I would be his mother.
The 20 week ultrasound was a miracle. I held the hand of God as I looked at every bone, every organ, the two halves of his tiny brain, the curve of his spine with each spiked vertebrae, tiny fingers and toes.
And then it hit me.
I needed to prepare.
He needed a place to sleep. I needed to make space for him in my little apartment. We needed a car seat. I had no idea what I was doing.
I began to decorate. Onsies and diapers. Gifts from church and friends and family. Preparing my home, my heart, my life, to change..... forever.
What does it look like to decorate for the coming redemption that we so deeply hope for?The world made right. Turned upside down by the creative whirlwind of God, making us new and whole.
How many days or months or years before Jesus comes back can we start celebrating his arrival? How do we prepare our hearts and homes and lives for a change like that?
We are waiting for Christmas and yet we bring Christmas into the waiting as we get caught up in the preparation. May we invite the re-creation of ourselves and our world as we wait for Christ to return. May we bring redemption as we get caught up in the waiting.
"Come, Lord Jesus, come."
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